Saturday, December 31, 2011

Trip to the Gym:
In Pictures

I took this on the way to the gym the other day.

Absent Mindedness:
Using Conditioner Instead of Shampoo

I've always been absent minded, especially when I was younger. For example, I've tried to put the car in reverse on a manual drive when I had intended to put the car in 5th gear (I was going over 60 mph). That maneuver caught my attention with the loud and shrill noise the gears made.

This trait subsided quite a bit after I started studying for the LSAT and then started law school. The attention to detail has curbed the absent mindedness in me. However, once in a while, it will rear its ugly head.

In November, I bought a new bottle of Garnier Fructis shampoo, or so I thought. Actually, I had bought a bottle of conditioner. I noticed the difference immediately but didn't identify the cause. My hair would take longer to dry and when it did dry, it would be oily and dull.

After a week of using conditioner every day, I started to get pimples on my head. It was gross as hell. I didn't know what was happening. I would get at least a half a dozen of these things. I'd no sooner pop one then another would pop right back up.

As if that wasn't gross enough, I was starting to get that "Old Man Smell".

It only took me a few weeks to identify the problem. Once I switched back to regular shampoo, my hair returned to its normal look and smell. Most importantly, the pimples are gone.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Random Thoughts:
Heaviest Centenarian?

The other day, I was thinking "Who holds the record for being the heaviest person over 100 years old?"

I haven't seen many centenarians, but they are withered and tiny. They sleep a lot, too.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Random Thought:
Twilight, Vampires and Cold Air

I was watching a Twilight movie the other night courtesy of Showtime On-Demand and had a random thought pop in my head during the show.

If vampires are cold-blooded, does that mean that on  a cold day, no one can see their breath?

I mean, assuming they breathe, does that mean that their breath doesn't condensate when it reaches the cold air when they exhale? But if they don't breathe, that means that no one can see their breath on a cold day because there is no "breath" in the first place.

I bet the "cold air test" would be a good way to detect if someone is a vampire.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Random Thoughts:
The Grocery Store

Do put your cart in the middle of the aisle when getting something off the shelf. I like waiting for your dumbass to make your selection and get it while I'm forced to stop and watch your inconsiderate ass.

Don't pay attention to the people you have blocked while you are getting the item. Your cluelessness and thoughtlessness adds to the texture of the event.

Do let your children run unfettered throughout the aisle. I enjoy watching the little shits run around with no control or supervision.  It reminds me of why being 43, single and childless isn't as bad as it seems.

Do go in clockwise direction in the store. Going with the flow of traffic isn't as all that it's cracked up to be.

Do go at a fast clip when you're pushing your cart, especially when you're going in the "clockwise" direction. I love being startled as I cautiously edge out from my aisle. Who doesn't like a surprise?

Do mill around at the deli area.

Don't form a line at the deli area. Trying to guess who's "last" makes things interesting and watching the person you jumped in front of act with righteous indignation makes the shopping experience that much more fun.

Don't show your coupons until all of your items have been scanned. That way, it's too late for me to change lanes. Then,  I can stay in the store longer and watch your cheap ass in the mean time.

Do bring your own reusable bags to put your groceries in. These people tend to be busy-body types who stand over the bagger and fuss over where each and every item should be placed.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Random Thoughts:
During an 8 Hour Exam

    Graph of Random Numbers

  1. "This class was my THIRD choice, goddamnit!!!"
  2. "Why did Copyrights have to be filled up?"
  3. "Should I have waitlisted Copyrights?"
  4. "Someone said there were openings a week after the semester started."
  5. "Why didn't I get up earlier on registration day and get into Copyrights while I had a chance?"
  6. "Why the fuck did Wills & Trusts have a time conflict with Patents?"
  7. "This sucks."
  8. "This guy's an asshole."

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Random Thought:
About Two Words

Only one letter separates the words "Heroes" & "Herpes."

As they say, you only get herpes once, so make it count!

Werewolves & Law School Exams

This would have been cool.

But no, we got something closer to this emo crap.

Just when I thought an 8 hour exam couldn't get worse, I ran into a hypothetical based on werewolves. And it wasn't the cool Lon Chaney wolfman; you know,  the old school stuff. No. This stemmed from the sissy crap Twilight series.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


I forgot to set my alarm to "snooze" the night before the last day I could take my last exam. If I missed that exam, I'd get an F. I'd be shit out of luck.

Normally, I set my alarm to snooze but forgot Thursday night. But out of caution, I set up a back-up alarm by setting the alarm on my cell phone. I'd never used the alarm feature on that phone before.

When the alarm went off, I hit the alarm and waited 5 minutes until the next alarm. Sometimes I even fall back asleep in that short time. I was half-in/half-out Friday morning. After a while, I wondered why the snooze hadn't gone off yet. I looked over and 9 minutes had passed! I almost shit a brick. Then my cell phone alarm went off.

I made it to the exam. I was the last person to pick it up.

Monday, December 12, 2011

My Mom's Christmas Present


He's a few weeks old. I haven't actually gotten him yet since he is too young, but I did put a down payment on him a while ago. And he already has a name: Archie.

Sometime next month, I will drive out in the country and get him. I think this will be the furthest from an interstate highway I've ever been in my life when I make that trip.

He already looks cute. And I want to squeeze the shit out of him right now.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

An Observation About a Patents Course
RE: Microsoft
(Another Confession from a Hater)

Damn, they get sued a lot!

And in the spirit of haterism, I almost always root for their opponent when I am reading the cases. I'm thinking "Come one guys, get 'em!"

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Random Thought
Terra Nova

Couldn't they have sent them back after the asteroid hit?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

People Complaining About Class Let Out Early

It's hard to believe that people exist who will complain about their professor letting class out early. How do I know? One of our professors told us about such complainers as he was letting us out early one day! Supposedly, this was his way of saying "Screw you" to such officious little busy-bodies. The professor said people have complained to the dean when he had previously let people out early.

Part of me wants to slap the shit out someone that fussy and irritable. Another part of me thinks it's funny that something like this can get some dipshit's panty's in a bunch.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Random Thought
What To Name A Company If GSK and Merck Merged

What if Glaxosmithkline and Merck merged? What would this company be named?

I came up with an idea: Gerck. The "G" would be a "soft G" as in "George."

Friday, December 2, 2011

Therapy Dogs at School

This wasn't one of the dogs, but it is wearing something similar to what the dogs the other day were wearing.

(I do this at the risk of breaking my anonymity.)

The other day at school, there were a few dogs in the front lobby with their owners. They had on some vests or bibs, otherwise they were normal and pretty dogs. The owners allowed students to pet the dogs. Actually, I think the dogs were brought for that very purpose. The dogs were very well-mannered and gentle. I was surprised they got along with each other. They never barked, snarled or showed teethies at each other.

I later thought "Don't they bring therapy dogs to hospitals and nursing homes to cheer up the occupants?" It's one thing to bring in a pet to a captive audience to brighten an otherwise miserable day, but it's whole different matter to bring the dogs in to law students who are free to come and go as they feel.

Then I thought that whoever conjured up this idea thought that the law students were down-trodden, run-down, defective and broken people in need to some therapeutic treatment.