Laws and Law School in the First Year

In the first year of law school, students don’t learn that many “laws.” When I say “laws”, I mean statutes. Sure, 1L’s will have a heap of common law and caselaw thrown on them, but black-letter laws are somewhat sparse.




I saw a few statutes in civpro and intellectual property. We also saw a bit of the UCC in contracts, but technically, the UCC is not “law”, but it is the foundation for many state laws.



I suppose law professors find it more important to teach us critical thinking skills and “how to think like a lawyer” as opposed to remembering black-letter law.

I'm 1/3rd of Lawyer Now!

I recently received my grades and am in good academic standing. Onward to 2L!

What does it mean to be 1/3rd of a lawyer? It doesn't really have much use or meaning. Being 1/3 of a lawyer has as much use and meaning as a bridge that extends only halfway across a river.

I'm No Longer a "1L"

I took my last exam today. Just like that, a full year of law school has passed me by. If there are any readers out there about to start law school next semester, I only have two pieces of advice.

1. Get all the pens, pads and highlighters at the vendor booths at the start of the semester. There is no damn reason for a 1L to buy a pen with all the freebies handed out. It may seem tacky or even kitschy to take the hand-outs, but those pens especially come in handy later in the year.
2. If you see an email with the words "meeting" & "interest" in it, by all means go there because there will be free food. I don't care if you are a red-hot liberal, if the Federalist Society offers free food, take it. Conversely, if you are a right wingnut, go to the environmental interest meetings. It won't kill you, and they will give you free food.

If you want advice on what hornbooks and primers to get, I suggest going to toplawschools.com or the like to see what all the blowhards have to say on the matter. I have no sage advice to "Get that 'A'."

A Day in Court

Our legal writing class assigned us to observe one hour of a trial court at a civil or criminal trial. We've had all semester to do this but I waited until now to finally do it. We have two more weeks but I put this off long enough. I went to a local courthouse and observed four cases. All but one pleaded guilty. The fourth pleaded no contest. All but one were inmates at the county jail.

1. One guy stole checks from his girlfriend while she was in jail. He wrote $1400 of bad checks. He plead no contest.
2. Another guy , an electrician, stole a client's credit card at a job he was doing at her house.
3. A woman bought a car using a check from bank account that had been closed-out by the bank a month before the car purchase. She said she was expecting some settlement money in the range of $100,000 and thought the money would be there.
4. The fourth guy stole a bottle of Courvosier at a liquor store. The guy came from NY to attend his mother's funeral last summer and has not left since. The prosecutor told the judge the defendant's lengthy list of priors. However, the prosecutor wasn't seeking the maximum penalty of 5 years. "It wasn't the crime of the century" he said. The court knew this guy had mental issues and probably wanted to get this guy back to NY and out of their hair. I'm sure the defendant felt the same way.

The Bluebook Exam Is the Wonderland for the Anal Retentive

Not this one . . .

And not this one either . . .



BUT This ONE!!!

That is all I have to say about that.

The Party Is Over

My Pitiful Little Man

The party is over. Spring Break ended and classes have started back. I accomplished some of the things I wanted but there were a couple of things that need to be done, and right soon.




When Andy saw me pack away my laptop, he knew I was about to leave. He showed me the most long and pitiful face he possibly could. He knows how to give me a guilt trip. As I bent down to kiss him, he resisted me pulling his head to me. He gets so upset when I leave that he tenses up. Fortunately, Andy doesn't pine over anyone who is not around. Once that person is gone, they are out of sight and out of mind.

Food Grade Wax

Other than 'ewww' , I don't have much to say about it. It sounds nasty. I read about this in a case the other day. I did a quick search and found out that food grade wax is used to coat foods to keep them fresh and to make them look shiny.

I've learned not to think too hard about what is in my food. Reading Fast Food Nation was quite traumatic. Then again, almost any food can be a turn-off if you look too closely. For example, who would want to eat this: (2R,3S,4R,5R)-2,3,5,4,6-Pentahydroxyhexanal? It sounds bad, especially the 'al' part which signifies that the chemical has an aldehyde in it. Aldehydes are generally toxic to humans, and other animals, I suppose. But this one is OK to eat.

One Hurdle Cleared

I finished taking an exam today. Unfortunately, we were playing for keeps this time. The exam only counts for 15% of my grade.




Now it's onward to bigger things. Legal brief, here I come.

Pop Quiz

What my prof essentially said today

That is how my day started in conlaw today. Fortunately the quiz wasn't graded. It did give us an indication of what his exam may be like. So far, he is doing a good job of hiding the ball. The guy doesn't have one single exam in the exam file at the library.




We went over the quiz later in class. Most of us were caught off guard.

The Titanic's Ubiquity

For the love of God, there is no escaping the movie Titanic. I thought for sure a contracts course would be safe-harbor from that awful movie. I was wrong.




The case was Wood v. Lucy, Lady Duff-Gordon. The issue was about exclusive rights, contracts and consideration. Cardozo really stuck it to ol' Lady Duff. In reference to her he states "Defendant is a 'creator of fashions' whose favor helps a sale". Putting things in "quotes" is about the closest thing to a sarcasm font we have in writing.



Our professor asked the class if they knew who she was. I didn't have a clue, but other class members did. Our professor read a court transcript of Lady Duff on the stand in an unrelated trial. I wish our professor had emailed it to us. Believe me, this woman was a piece of work. Undoubtedly Cardozo knew all about her when he wrote the majority decision. He really stuck it to her.



I did find this. Lady Duff was asked if she had bought any war bonds during WWI. Here is her response:



"Why should I buy any? This country means nothing to me. I have had nothing

but trouble over here. It is an awful country." Lady Duff Gordon in Court, N.Y.

TIMES, Apr. 13, 1919 at 22.



I have no doubt Cardozo knew about Lady Duff's reputation when he wrote that decision. For the record, the Chief Judge of the NY Court of Appeals (NY's 'Supreme Court') at the time was Frank Hiscock.


I could only roll my eyes when our professor mentioned the movie Titanic. I've tried to watch that saccharine crap all the way through, but I couldn't do it. It didn't help that I had to hear Celine Dion's shrill voice on the score. I think after 30 minutes into the movie, I was rooting for the iceberg.

From the Annals of Passive Aggresiveness

I'm a sucker for passive aggressiveness, being a lifelong smartass myself. I think of passive aggressiveness as sarcasm's kissing cousin. The other day in contracts I came across a fine example of passive aggressiveness and it made me smile. The case was Price v. OK College of Osteopathic Medicine and Surgery.




A college offered to renew a faculty member's contract for one year at $47,117/yr. The faculty member signed the offer and returned it. But under his signature was a hand written note: "Signed under protest that salary does not reflect guarantees under present and past Personnel Policies and that proper evaluation procedures were not followed."



The school said it wasn't an acceptance and terminated the guy. Wow, those academic types can be pricks. I would have paid money to listen in on the arguments this guy had with his fellow staff members. He sounds like a piece of work. I admire his gumption and thought his little note was funny.



The court said there was indeed a contract and the school couldn't back out now.



That's how you stick it to the man!

Taking One For the Team

We were about to go over the Slaughterhouse cases when the professor asked for volunteers. Not a peep from the crowd was heard. The prof said "OK, I guess I'll go to the role." Well, guess whose name pops up?




I raised my hand. He paused and looked at me. It has been less than a month since I carried a big case. He recognized me, and then asked the class "has there been anyone who has not been called on?" Pause and silence. Then he asked "has there been anyone whose voice I have not heard?"



And before I knew it, a miracle happened! A student raised her hand and admitted that she had not participated in class yet. She didn't have to do it, but she did anyway. I don't think anyone would have known any better. She took me off the hook. She answered the questions better than I would have.



Who said law students were all cut-throat backstabbers?



Anyway, my turn cometh (again), and right soon!

Outrunning My Coverage

I fell behind in my reading two classes in a row. On Thursday, I fell behind in contracts and Friday Constitution. Ultimately, I am to blame for this. However in these two classes, the professors almost always fall short of the schedule 10 or 20 pages for any particular day.




I tried to adjust my reading and read a little less than I normally do in those classes this week so I could focus on classes where I had assignments due. I got burned. Things would have been much worse had the professors called on me and I had to take a pass. Fortunately for me, the professors did not call on me or anyone else and relied instead on voluntary participation. I would have felt like such a weenie if I had to pass.



I escaped this time, but fuck it all, I'm now behind in my reading for this weekend!

In Space, No One Can Hear You ScreamBut an Invention From There Is Patentable!

Don't believe me? Check out this statute: 35 U.S.C § 105. So, if you invented something in a ship or space object under US control, you could file for a patent at the patent office.




However, what if you were 20 light years from Earth. Further suppose that the patent filed was accepted on the first shot without any revisions. By the time you found out, the patent life (20 years from the date of filing) would have expired. I don't think it matters in this case what time frame is used. No matter how you slice it, the patent won't be any good by the time you find out it has been approved.



It's amazing that lawmakers took the time to think of this stuff!

Cases I Don't LikeDred Scott Decision

While I was reading the Dred Scott decision the other day, I felt uncomfortable reading the attitudes of Chief Justice Taney. I knew from my American History courses how the case would turn out, and what the rationale was for the decision. I braced myself for the reading but it was painful nonetheless. Aside from the human element, it was further frustrating looking at the structure of the argument itself. The ruling had internal logical inconsistencies and circular logic. It was hard to believe a Supreme Court Chief Justice would concoct such sophistry.




I'm not a "I feel your pain" type of guy. When I first heard that line-turned-cliché in the '92 presidential campaign, my first reaction was "Go feel your own pain." However, while I was reading this case, I found myself asking how do black US law students feel when they read the decision. I then wondered how Afro-Carribeans felt when they read the case or how Africans felt when they read the decision. I wonder if their reading that case puts them in a bad mood.



I knew how the case turned out. Dred Scott didn't have standing to bring a case in the court because of his race and therefore lack of citizenship, the court held. However, I did find out with the help of Google that a Dred Scott sympathizer bought Scott and his family and emancipated him. Scott himself only had 18 months of freedom because he was stricken with TB, but at least he died a free man.

The inventor of 6-point font...

Can go to hell. For that matter, so can the inventor of footnotes and single-spacing.




My far-sighted rapidly approaching middle-aged eyes don't appreciate the strain on them from the small print in my casebooks.

Patents, Deception & Morality

Juicy Whip Soda Fountain, fake drink on top

My intellectual property class is the most interesting so far this semester. In the trade secrets segment, we dealt with schemers and liars having little or not scruples at all. One case involved a pair of brothers hired by a company to fly over a DuPont manufacturing plant under construction. While the site was under construction, the place where the trade secret was located was exposed until the roof was placed overhead. The brothers then took photos so they could glean information of what the trade secret was in the manufacturing process. Even though the brothers did not break any laws, the judge put the hammer down on the sneaky rascals.




Another case I liked was a patent case against a beverage vendor. The drink dispenser looked like a regular soda dispenser except on top of the stand was several containers for the different flavors of soda sold of several different colors. The only problem was that the juice on top was 'fake'. The real stuff was below the counter and mixed underneath like a regular Coke or Pepsi is. The 'fake juice' is for show, visual appeal.



The case went something like this.



Opponent: The fake juice on top is deceptive and misleading.



Juicy Whip: Um, dur.



Opponent: You can't do that. The courts have said so.



Juicy Whip: We can't 'deceive'? Have you heard of cubic zirconia or pleather?



Court: Juicy Whip is right. The deception is part of the appeal. Besides, we are not the morality police. Juicy Whip gets the patent. The end.



The case is Juicy Whip, Inc. v. Orange Bang, Inc.

Hot Damn!

I have a three day weekend this weekend! Our conlaw professor hinted to us on Monday he may have to cancel Friday's class. On Wednesday, he did cancel Friday's class. I felt like screaming like a little girl at a Justin Bieber concert because I was so happy. The stars aligned just right. Normally, I have two classes on Friday, but the other class was rescheduled for Wednesday night. Now that our conlaw class was cancelled, I have Friday all to myself. That makes me very happy.

If You're Reading a Case in ContractsAnd see the words 'aunt' or 'uncle'

You can almost bet on a few things happening. The aunt or uncle will promise a gift to a nephew or niece, die, the gift will not have been made before that death, and the nephew or niece will be screwed out his/her money by the courts. (Or someone will try to screw the poor guy out of his money.) Some people would say they were not screwed because the money was never theirs to begin with.

I Should Buy a Lottery Ticket Today

I don't know what the odds are of getting called on in two classes in one day, but I was called on in both of my classes today. I had a quick and dirty question in crimlaw. It didn't matter if I got the right answer or not. The process of getting there mattered the most.




However in conlaw, I was under the gun for well over half the class. To make things worse, he wanted me to read from the text, and I didn't have my reading glasses. Six point font early in the morning is not kind to my middle-aged eyes.



The subject in conlaw was the Marbury Case.