A Corollary to Murphy's Law

If there is a gap in your backyard fence, your puppy will find it.

Last night when I took the puppies out back, Dixie found a gap in the fence and went through it. She didn't get far since she sat down immediately after she went under the fence. I reached under the fence and pulled her back. Before I could herd them back in the house, Dixie went back for one more jaunt. Again, she didn't get far, but this time I yelled at her while getting her back in. I picked her up and took her back inside. Archie followed. He always goes where his sister does. Thankfully, his bad eyesight was a blessing since he wasn't able to see her leave the fence or else he would have gone with her.

Archie is in for a rude awakening on Monday when Dixie goes to the Heart of Dixie.

Random Thought:Guest Actors on House

The guest actors on House tend to be has-beens and B-listers. I was watching a House rerun last night on Oxygen (it was a House marathon). I noticed Howard Hesseman was on and I remembered all of the other guests from TV shows past who've been on House. That was when the thought came to me. It has been somewhat of a game when a guest comes on to guess "What show have I seen him/her on before?"

Will the "Charlotte Curse" End This Year?

Since Governor Perdue will not seek reelection does it mean the "Charlotte Curse" may come to an end? Charlotte politicians haven't done so well in statewide elections. If a Charlotte politician ever had a chance to win a statewide election, this is it.
http://www.wral.com/news/state/nccapitol/story/10647166/

Random Thought:Tombs, Archaeology and Grave robbers

I was watching one of those Dr. Zahi Hawass shows on TV and thought "How long does one have to wait after someone is buried until you can dig up the grave and it not be considered grave robbing?"

Meet Dixie

• She is Archie's sister.
• She's a gift from me to my brother.
• She's an alpha
• She has razor sharp teethies.
• She loves to bite.
• She has drawn blood from me and my mom.
• She likes "people-food"
• She will climb on me to get people food.
• She will whine to get people-food.
• She has fallen in the pool already.
• She can't swim at all.
• She chases the cat around the house.
• She's going to Atlanta next week when my brother comes up to Raleigh and gets her.

The Ann Miller Story

It was a matter of time until one of the cable networks aired a high-profile story in the Triangle area about a woman working at Glaxosmithkline who killed her husband early last decade. Ann Miller (now Ann Miller Kontz) poisoned her husband with arsenic taken from her laboratory. How fucking dumb was that? It's about as dumb as someone killing his spouse just weeks after increasing that spouse's life insurance policy.

The show will be on an episode of Snapped on Oxygen. I thought Lifetime  Movie Network for Women would make a movie about it until I realized the story didn't fit their mold. On LMN, it's the man who does the screwing around and the killing. In this story, it was the woman screwing around and killing. In other words, the woman is not the victim but the victimizer.

Her husband was a cancer researcher at UNC. He was an All-American corn-feed white boy from the Midwest. You can't kill someone like that and think you're going to get away with it.

On the "degrees of separation" scale, I think I am  two degrees of separation from her (I knew someone who knew her). She had already killed her husband and moved to Wilmington by the time I started at GSK. It took the police a few years to put together a strong case against her which explains the gap between the murder and her arrest. I knew people who who worked with her on some projects at GSK. They said she was nice-looking then. It's a shame to see nice piece of ass taken off the market. I wouldn't be shocked if some dudes on the outside have proposed to her. I don't understand them but they are out there.

Ann Miller, welcome to a fine sorority of NC husband killers populated by the likes of Velma Barfield and Blanche Taylor Moore.

NC Women's Prison: Ann's Old Home. She has since been relocated.

Random Thoughts: Environmentalists Watching Bering Sea Gold or Gold Rush

I bet when environmentalists watch Bering Sea Gold or Gold Rush on the Discovery Channel, it's as painful to them as it is for me when I watch MSNBC. Watching the prospectors rape the shit out of the environment probably mortally wounds the Greenies (and understandably so). When I was watching the commercials for these Discovery Channel shows, the thought dawned on me that these shows must be as painful to an environmentalist as almost the whole MSNBC lineup is to me. Rachel Maddow's snide facial gestures irritate the hell out of me. I expect such passive-aggressive mannerisms from a middle-school teenager but not from a news commentator on a cable news program who has a PhD.

Who says conservatives don't have empathy?

The Unfriendly Skies

Last Sunday, I took the puppies out back to let them play. There was nothing eventful about their playing itself. What did interest me was what I saw after I came back in and my mom pointed out a big hawk in the side yard.

That guy was huge. My mom said he would turn his head and look our way whenever the puppies would squeal, cry or whimper. I have no doubt he was interested in those chubby little babies and would delight in having them as a succulent meal.

I don't know what the upper limit is for a hawk's prey, but I've heard they can eat chihuahuas. I heard that  a hawk at a chihuahua even though there were people nearby. By the time the owners could shoo away the bird, it had ripped open the dog's belly and pulled out its intestines. The dog died before they could get to the vet.                                                            

Random Thoughts:Jamie Lee Curtis Has Blue Hair

I noticed Jamie Lee Curtis's hair on an Activia commercial. She has blue hair. I used to lust after her like a motherfucker, starting from her appearance in Halloween. And in Trading Places, I was riveted in a scene  when she was topless for a brief moment.

I don't like it when the women I lust acquire geriatric traits. It makes me sad.

Meet Archie:The Circle of Life Continues

A view from Archie's birthplace

Dixie and Archie

Yesterday, I took a long drive in the Virginia countryside to pick up my mom and brother's Christmas presents: 2 Labrador puppies. The drive took an hour longer than I thought it would but I made it. A black male lab, Pepper, was the first to greet  me. He was hesitant at first but he started wagging his tail and loving me. He was a sweet boy until a few minutes later when I met the father of the puppies I bought. Those two labs did not like each other. There were teethies the moment they saw each other.

The owner said they had gotten into fights before, usually with the white lab starting them. The black lab "whipped his ass" , the owner told me and almost tore off the white lab's ear. Ever since then, those two have been kept apart.

The puppies' father was in a fence and had a stick in his mouth when I saw him. He was high-strung and wild as hell. He snorted through his nose as he greeted me. I played fetch with him a couple of minutes. The owner told me a story of how the dog got so wound up one day that he jumped over the rock-pond and landed on the rocks as he was playing fetch.

I went to the kennel to meet the puppies. The only male lab in the litter was mine since I had requested a boy and had made the first deposit a few months ago. The hard part was picking a girl. My brother wanted me to get the most docile and laid-back girl in the group. Instead, I got the most energetic one. The one I got ran the fastest and pranced the most.

The owner picked up the puppies I chose and put them in a crate in the back of my car. I left the hatchback open as the owner and I went into his house and took care of some paperwork. We exchanged some small-talk and then I went to my car. I noticed in the meantime how the mom had walked to my car a few times to check on her babies. I was taking them away from her.

As I was about to leave, a family from West Virginia pulled up to get their puppy. I sat in my car and noticed the male lab cock his head to the side. He can't see very well. His mom dropped him a few weeks earlier and scratched his left cornea. The left side of his face droops because of this injury. He needs eye drops to treat the eye infection. He may have injured a nerve. His left side looks like he has a sneer on it. A vet who checked on the injury doesn't know if the injury is permanent.

The owner said I could have chosen another lab instead or backed out of the deal. I felt so sorry for Archie. I would have felt so shallow throwing him back like he was broken or defective merchandise. Who knows, maybe no one would have picked him if we hadn't. That would have been pitiful.

I barely made it out of the driveway when one of the puppies started crying. I started singing to it and gave it comforting words. Barely a mile later, both were asleep and stayed asleep all the way to Raleigh.

Random Thoughts:Bacon on a Bagel

It just seems wrong.

"Injury to Real Property"

The site of the crime

Where the cops got us

In 1984, my friend Amos was charged with "Injury to Real Property." I and three other guys were with Amos when he did the act he was charged with. This point would lead to two different journeys for us. For me, it was the start of a slow process of what would be our devolving friendship. For Amos, it would be the first of what is now over 7 dozen arrests or citations.

The other day, I was using browsing the criminal records feature available on LexisNexis. For those not in the legal field, LexisNexis is a legal database ranging from Supreme Court opinions, federal statutes, people finder and of course criminal records. I knew from the NC Department of Corrections website that Amos had been convicted of several things, but the LexusNexus database captures so much more.

It was depressing to see someone who I considered my best friend growing up have such extensive legal problems. The convictions range from shoplifting, ticky-tack moving violations, conspiracy (for what I don't know), assault on a female, and the latest: possession of a weapon of mass destruction. A judgment has not been recorded for the weapon of mass destruction charge.

Back to that winter day in 1984. Students in the Greensboro Public School system had a day off because of a teacher workday. A group of five were hanging out in the neighborhood when we had the idea to walk about a mile away to Kmart. On our way over, we passed through a construction site. Benny and Amos paused, looked at a port-a-potty and asked the rest of us "Do you dare us to tip this over?" Of course we dared them, and they sure as hell did it. We laughed and then continued on our journey. I remember seeing one guy in a nearby site. He was a big dumb looking country-boy type. He was the one who ratted us out.

About 10 minutes and a half a mile later as we were crossing over I-40/85 on an overpass on Randleman Road, a cop pulled up behind us and asked us if we had been at the construction site nearby. I kept walking as did a guy called "CT" but before we could break out into a full run, a second cop came from the other direction and swooped in beside us.

We were not technically arrested, but if sure as hell felt like it. Amos and I sat in one car while the other three sat in the other, but we were never handcuffed. The cops played us like a fiddle. Our cop told us that the other three said Amos and I did it. Later we found out that the 2nd cop told the other three that Amos and I said those three did it.

Amos and Benny confessed thus sparing the other three from being charged. The cops said that they could have charged us. Later, when I took criminal law, I found out how right he was. We watched the cops inspect the scene and openly laugh at all the shit spilled out from the port-a-potty. After the cops got the information from Benny and Amos and handed them their citations, we headed back to Kmart. I asked the cop if he could give us a ride there. He said "no."

Benny and Amos, both over 16 at the time, were charged as adults and the incident was permanently placed on their records. The rest of us were under 16. At the time, the conservatives had not began their crusade to try early teens as adults. The remaining three of us would have been charged as juveniles anyway if the cops had given us a citation.

I went home that night after that close brush with the law. I never told my parents and they never found out. I        
reflected on that day and what I needed to do from then on to avoid anymore trouble on that day. I had to carefully anticipate who my friends would be and what I was going to do when I was out with them.

I didn't turn my back on Amos from that day on, but that day began a slow process of our spending less and less time together. We never had any dramatic scenes such as him confronting me why we didn't hang out as much. He'd ask if we wanted to go out and do something. I'd often reply "no" without explanation. Don't get me wrong, we'd still go out, drink and other stuff. But he always wanted to ramp things up. Over half the time we'd get together, something illegal was involved.

That day was Amos's first brush with the law as an adult. He popped his cherry so to say. A quarter of a century later, he has many more citations, arrests and convictions. I hated to disassociate from Amos, but chances are that I would have been caught up in one of his schemes. No doubt I would have got in trouble and I'm not talking "Oh my god, I've been grounded for a week" shit. I'm talking arrests, handcuffs, bail, lawyers and "standing before the man" kind of trouble.

Spring '12 ScheduleI Feel Old

I reviewed my Spring schedule and the professors in my classes. I am older than all of my professors this semester.

Damn, I feel old.

Nancy Grace Is Going to Shit a Brick:Casey Anthony's Video Diary

Casey Anthony claims that a video diary she made was illegally obtained and subsequently posted on the internet without her permission. I can't wait to see what Nancy Grace will say about this. I'll enjoy seeing her righteous indignation and her getting her dander up. Not once does Casey mention Caylee in the video. Nancy might come to tears about this one.

Oh, and for those who want an idea for a drinking game tonight, every time Nancy says "Tot Mom", take a drink.

Good-bye Internet ExplorerHello Chrome

With a not-so-tearful eye, I have ditched my Internet Explorer browser and have started using Chrome as my browser. Over the last year and a half, my laptops have been hit about a half a dozen times. I don't know whose fault it is.

Does the school's anti-virus software suck?

Is it my computers that suck?

Is it the browser, Internet Explorer, that sucks?

I can't get rid of the school's AV software since I need that to access the school's wireless system. I could buy yet another computer, possibly even a Mac. I hate Macs. The dipshits who use them have a cult-like devotion to them and they are as wacky as a Ron Paul supporter. Jesus, I don't want to be that guy. I'm desperate and may resort to buying a Mac, but only as a last resort.

For now, I got a Chrome browser. Setting it up was quick and painless. This boded well especially in comparison to almost any MS product. I think MS lets its engineers write the downloading instructions for their programs. Yes, I mean that as an insult. Anyone who has spoken to an engineer will understand the frustration of speaking to one. These are the types of people that use words "clearly" and "obviously" with ease and frequency. I've found that having to use the words "clearly" and "obviously" means that the idea being communicated is anything but clear or obvious.

So, here I am with  a new browser. I hope this fends off the virus and malware attacks I've felt in the past. One thing I immediately noticed was the spell-check feature. For a chronic misspell-er such as me, this is an awesome feature!

Dear Fatty at the Harris Teeter Produce Section

I promise I wasn't making any advances at you. I think you mistook my waiting for the interminable time it took you to get your plastic bag to get your apple as some kind of "advance" or "pass" at you. I could see the indignant look in your eyes that you were not pleased at what you thought was my interest in you.

Well, trust me, Ms. Thing, I was not. I've never been into fat chicks. You had no redeeming qualities chubby girls sometimes have such as a pretty face, voluptuous ass or large breasts. You were batting 0/3 in those categories. Besides, you had a pig nose and a beret!

Who the hell wears a beret? Monica Lewinsky? Well, how did that work our for her. Sure, Green Berets wear them but they can kick anyone's ass who would dare mock them for their attire.

The closest bags to the ones you were already using was over by the onions over 30ft away. I thought it would have been quicker to let you get your bag rather than take that walk. I was wrong. My god, did fatty lollygag around forever. Then to make things worse, fatty thought I was interested in her.

Random Thoughts:Breaking Bad

The Crystal Palace

Gus's Protectors
The cartel was scared to kill, hurt or harm Gus. Who were these people? Will they show themselves after hearing about Gus's death?

Gus's Partners
Who were the people or companies that helped Gus get the lab equipment for the super meth lab? Hank briefly mentioned some shell companies or conglomerate when he was hot on the trail of Gale's murderers.

I'm going to go on a limb and say these guys have Eastern European connections.

Jane's Death
Will Walt ever spill the beans about Jane's death? My guess is "No" since the writers were teasing us about that subject in the episode The Fly and then slammed the door on the subject. But there is always a chance this ugly chapter Walt would like to forget opens back up. Jesse would go haywire if he found out the truth.

Brock's Poisoning
Jesse will go nuts if he found out Walt poisoned that kid and not Gus. Again, this is a case if Walt can keep a secret and not open his big mouth in a weak moment.

Law Enforcement and The Bomb Investigation
There is no telling how many law enforcement agencies will investigate the bomb killing Gus. ABQ police, state SBI, DEA, ATF, FBI.

Somehow, somewhere, Jesse or Walt's name is going to pop up during one of these agency's investigations.

Gale's Death
Hank still may stumble upon the truth there.

Jesse's Future
Is there a chance that Jesse becomes a leader in an organized crime group?

Will he just self-destruct indulging in drugs, booze and floozies?

Other thoughts
Can Walt just walk away from the business?

Will any of Walt's murders catch up with him? There is no statute of limitations for murder.

Will Skyler keep gaining weight?

Random Thoughts:Birds on Laboratory Buildings



A laboratory. See, no birds!


In my years working in a lab, I've almost never seen a bird sitting on top of a chemistry building. I think the vapors from the vents drive them away. That, and the birds must be sensitive little bastards.