Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Why Don't People Steal Toilet Paper from Public Restrooms?"

I saw a question in a blogger's profile that intrigued me. I came across this person's blog while I was reading this article at yet another blog. The article was about the writer's 10 favorite law student blogs. As of now seven out of ten of those bloggers have either shut down, stopped posting or "privatized" their blogs. Only three of them still post regularly. I'd give a direct link to her website but the person would think I'm a loony stalker-type.

Here is the question: "Why don't people steal toilet paper from public bathrooms?" I have several theories. 

First and foremost, no one wants to put something in their bag, backpack or whatever that has been touched by someone else's shitty hands. It's bad enough having to touch shit-contaminated objects but we comfort ourselves and rationalize touching the public restroom toilet paper at all by noting that we will be touching the toilet paper with our own shitty hands. It's as if the shittiness cancels each other out. Also, no one wants to walk around with a shit-ass. We have to use the toilet paper but we don't want to bring home the shittiness.

Second, taking a roll of toilet paper is physically difficult. Those suckers are really locked-in there. I know this not because I've tried to steal toilet paper. I know because I've tried to turn the roll around so that the toiler paper will roll out from the top. It drives me nuts when it comes out from the bottom. When I've seen that in a public bathroom, I've tried to change the direction by first taking the toilet paper out and rotating it 180 degrees. Believe me, those things are secured in there. You almost have to rip the damn roll out to get it out.

Third, who the hell wants toilet paper from a public restroom? It's like sandpaper. It doesn't absorb well. It just plain sucks.

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