Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Abby the Recidivist

By the time Abby was an adult, she knew she should not eat off of the counters or tables. I scolded her several times when she was younger and even gave her a couple of spanks. Abby got the message loud and clear. When she was an adult, she would not eat people food unless we offered it to her or if some had dropped on the ground.

My mom told me how she had made a sandwich, put it on the coffee table (eye level for Abby) but had to go back in the kitchen to get something she forgot. My mom returned to the den and saw the sandwich was gone. Some people poo-poo circumstantial evidence, but it doesn’t take much of an inference to know that Abby took that sandwich. Unless the sandwich grew wings or legs and flew or walked away, the only way it could have vanished was if Abby took it. Abby was over 10. She knew better.

Abby tried to act nonchalant. My mom looked at her but Abby deliberately avoided eye-contact. My mom asked her: “Did you do that?” Abby strained to look the other way and licked her lips. My mom punctuated the scolding by saying “bad girl.” It was too much for Abby to bear. She went to my mom and tried to huggy and kissy her. My mom didn’t have the heart to discipline her. Deep down, she thought Abby was cute because she could be so sneaky.

Abby knew she did wrong. Like old people who break the rules and norms in society, Abby didn’t give a shit if she got caught. She wanted that tooty and got it. Also like old people do, Abby reverted to behaviors of her youth but in Abby’s case, it was cute.

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